Few daycare pickups feel worse than hearing, “There was a biting incident today.” Maybe your child was bitten. Maybe your child was the one who bit. Either way, you probably have a lot of questions, and some strong feelings too.
Toddler biting at daycare is common, and it’s almost always a phase. That doesn’t make it easy. This guide explains why toddlers bite, what New Jersey requires centers to tell you, and why the center won’t share the other child’s name. It also covers the questions to ask your daycare and what to do if your child is the one biting.
Why toddler biting at daycare happens
Biting is one of the most common behaviors in toddler rooms. It rarely means something is wrong with your child.
They don’t have the words yet
Toddlers feel big emotions before they can explain them. When a child is excited, frustrated, tired, or overwhelmed, biting can be a fast way to react. As language grows, biting usually fades.
Curiosity and teething
Young toddlers explore with their mouths. Some bite to see what happens. Others bite when their gums hurt from teething.
How common it is
ZERO TO THREE, a national early childhood group, notes that research shows up to half of toddlers in child care have been bitten. So if it happens in your child’s room, you’re far from the only family dealing with it.
What happens when a child is bitten at a New Jersey daycare
New Jersey has clear rules about injuries at child care centers, including bites. Here’s what they require.
When the center must call you
New Jersey requires centers to contact a parent right away when a bite breaks the skin. The same goes for a head or facial injury, or a fall from higher than the child’s own height. For smaller bites, ask your center how and when it will tell you.
Written incident reports
Centers must keep a written record of each incident that causes an injury. Ask for a copy of the report so you know what happened and how it was handled.
Why the center won’t name the other child
Many parents find this part frustrating. Centers usually keep the other child’s name private to protect both families. Toddlers who bite are still learning, and the same privacy protects your child if they ever bite.
What to ask your Paramus daycare about biting
Good questions help you feel informed without blaming anyone. Start with these.
Questions about your child
Ask how your child was comforted and how the bite was cleaned. Ask what was happening right before it. The answer can help teachers spot a pattern.
Questions about the plan
Ask what the teachers will do to prevent the next bite. Common steps include closer watching during busy times and giving toddlers more space to play. Centers in New Jersey must have a written discipline policy and give parents a copy on request. Our security and safety page explains how we keep children safe.
If the same child keeps biting
Repeated bites can feel scary. The center may not share a name, but you can ask whether the bites came from one child and what the plan is to stop them. New Jersey centers must give parents a copy of their expulsion policy, so you can also see when a center may ask a family to leave.
When to call your pediatrician
Follow your pediatrician’s advice for a bite that breaks the skin. Call them if the area looks red, swollen, or warm later on.
If your child is the one biting
It can feel embarrassing to hear that your child bit someone. Try to remember that it’s a normal stage for many toddlers.
Work with the teachers
Ask what the teachers say in the moment, and use the same words at home. A shared plan works better than two different ones.
Give words and other choices
Teach simple feeling words like “mad,” “sad,” and “mine.” Offer safe things to bite, like a teether, when your child is teething. Our tips on building emotional intelligence can help your child name big feelings.
Stay calm and consistent
Keep your reaction short and calm. Try a firm, simple “Biting hurts.” Our guide to correcting negative behavior shares more ideas.
Frequently asked questions
Is biting normal at daycare?
Yes, it’s common in toddler rooms. ZERO TO THREE notes research showing up to half of toddlers in child care have been bitten. It usually fades as language grows.
Why won’t my daycare tell me who bit my child?
Centers usually keep the other child’s name private to protect both families. The same privacy protects your child if they ever bite.
Will daycare call me if my child is bitten?
In New Jersey, centers must contact a parent right away when a bite breaks the skin. Ask your center how it shares smaller bites, such as at pickup.
What should I do if my child keeps biting at daycare?
Work with the teachers on one shared plan, and use the same words at home. Teach simple feeling words and stay calm when it happens.
Can a daycare expel a toddler for biting?
It depends on the center’s policy. New Jersey centers must give parents a copy of their expulsion policy, so ask to see it and ask what steps come first.
Can I see my daycare’s discipline policy?
Yes. New Jersey centers must have a written discipline policy and give parents a copy when asked.
Biting is a phase, and clear communication helps
Toddler biting at daycare is common, and most children grow out of it as they learn words. New Jersey requires a call when a bite breaks the skin and a written record of each injury. Ask your center about its plan, and work together on the same approach at home. With patience on both sides, this phase usually passes.
Want to learn how our toddler rooms work? Call JJ Paramus Day Care at (201) 500-2951 or visit our toddler classroom page.
